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May 16, 2022
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That’s Funny

My Diary

 


My doctor asked if I wanted to test a coronavirus vaccine.
I figure it’s worth a shot.

Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?

They never get them.

Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception

Saving
I decided to put my savings into a boomerang business. Guaranteed return on investment.

My bank is no longer offering its new savings account There was no interest

Other Stuff

Borrow money from pessimists, they don’t expect it back.

Why isn’t a dime worth as much today as it used to be?
Because the dimes (times) have changed.

The market is weird. Every time one guy sells,
another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

Who was the world’s first stock broker?

Noah – He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation.

An investor to his advisor: Is really all my money gone?
No, of course not. It’s just with somebody else!

What leads most people into debt?
Trying to catch up with people who are already there.

Related

Next
Desiderata

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